Fallen Heart
by Unknown Demoness
Summary: When her two most trusted people betrays her, she cries, and cuts herself. She found his half brother and regains herself, but no one but her notices how cold she is becoming how she still craving her first love. new summary and new chap. up!
1. Going Under

Summary: She's a troubled girl when she saw her two friends betray her in a way she could never imagine. She's cold, stoic, distant, and numb. She became a cutter to take away all the pain away. He came along and showed her to love again. But when the man she used to love came for her, what will happen now? (Somewhat a song fic. Not a one-shot) Sesshy/Kag

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, and Going Under which is by Evanescence.

**

* * *

**

Chapter one:

**Going Under**

Kagome's eyes widened at the scene in front of her. How could he? And how could she? They were betraying her in the worst way ever: making love in front of her, but they didn't know. She knew that her friend knew she loved Inuyasha. And she thought Inuyasha knew that she loved him.

Sango, her new, _former _best friend, and Inuyasha, her _former _love, crushed her heart. The feeling was worse than him cheating on her with that clay pot.

Kagome trudged toward the middle of the forest; her tears fell to the floor. Her heart never seemed colder. She wiped the last tears away from her face as she looked at her reflection in the lake. She saw her reflection, but something was different. Her bluish gray eyes were empty. No emotions in there.

She felt no pain, sorrow, anger, happiness, betrayal, or anything else. Closing her eyes, she sighed and slowly walked back to the village, and had on a mask that could fool _them_.

"Mama! Where were you?" the young fox, named Shippo walked up to Kagome. She put the mask on and smiled brightly and said, "I was out for a walk in Inuyasha's forest Shippo-chan." Shippo nodded and headed into Kaede's hut.

Kagome sighed and also headed toward the hut. She thought of nothing but what she had scene. How angry it made her. She slowly made her way her yellow bag. Suddenly, Miroku came in.

"Hello Kagome, what are you doing?" He asked, looking at her. She turned around and looked at him. His eyes widened with shock as he saw no emotions in there what so ever.

"Kagome, what happened?" He asked her, taking a seat next to her. She continued to look at him and answered, "Inuyasha and Sango…betrayed me in the worse way ever."

His eyes went huge, as he felt his heart break slowly. He loved Sango, but now he knows she doesn't love him. "Are you okay, Kagome?" He asked as he embraced her. She put on a fake smile and said, "Yeah, I'm not heartbroken."

She pulled out her CD player and put on her Evanescence CD in and played the music really loud, letting the music blare out for everyone to hear. Just her luck, Sango and Inuyasha came in as the song started.

Kagome just sat there, singing along softly.

_now I will tell you what I've done for you  
50 thousand tears I've cried  
screaming deceiving and bleeding for you  
and you still won't hear me (I'm going under)_

_don't want your hand this time I'll save myself  
maybe I'll wake up for once (wake up for once)  
not tormented daily defeated by you  
just when I thought I'd reached the bottom  
I'm dying again_

She looked up at them and glared while singing.

_I'm going under (going under)  
drowning in you (drowning in you)  
I'm falling forever (falling forever)  
I've got to break through  
I'm going under_

Inuyasha walked closer to her, to see what was wrong, she pushed him away. What's wrong with her?' He thought.

_blurring and stirring the truth and the lies  
so I don't know what's real, so I don't know what's real, and what's not, so i don't know what's real and what's not  
always confusing the thoughts in my head  
so I can't trust myself anymore  
I'm dying again_

"Kagome-chan, what's wrong?" Sango asked softly, trying to help her friend. Kagome just stopped glaring and looked at Sango with blank eyes. "Why do you want to know Sango?" She asked with an emotionless voice.

_I'm going under (going under)  
drowning in you (drowning in you)  
I'm falling forever (falling forever)  
I've got to break through _

so go on and scream  
scream at me I'm so far away (so far away)  
I won't be broken again  
I've got to breathe I can't keep going under

Sango was a bit taken back. "What is wrong Kagome? Maybe we can help you!" She said, with a hurt voice. "Stop pushing us away."

_I'm dying again _

I'm going under (going under)  
drowning in you (drowning in you)  
I'm falling forever (falling forever)  
I've got to break through  
I'm going under  
Going under (drowning in you)  
I'm going under

Kagome got up and got her yellow bag (It's not so big, since she hasn't been home in a week) she put her stuff away and walked out the hut. "I'm going out for a walk." With that, she walked away.

"What's wrong with her?" Inuyasha asked Miroku. Miroku just glared at him. "You know what you did to her. It's because of you and Sango." And with that, he walked away, leaving the hanyou and slayer feeling ashamed that they hurt the people they care for, and trusted them.

* * *

A/n: So what you think? I hope you like it, review or leave a reasonable flame. I know the song doesn't really fit, but I was listening to Evanescence. 


	2. I'm with You

Summary: She's a troubled girl when she saw her two friends betray her in a way she could never imagine. She's cold, stoic, distant, and numb. She became a cutter to take away all the pain away. He came along and showed her to love again. But when the man she used to love came for her, what will happen now? (Song fic) (not a one-shot) Sess/Kag

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha… what? Did you expect me too? And I don't own 'I'm with you' by Avril Lavigne.

Thank you to my reviewers. I am so glad you support me!

**

* * *

**

Chapter two:

**I'm with You**

Kagome walked into the middle of the forest as she saw a pond. She just sat on the shore and enjoyed the view. She took out a razor blade from her backpack, which she brought to open something, and cut her left wrist. Blood slowly came out flowing to the side, and falling on the floor.

'I want to cry, but nothing comes out. I don't feel anything, what have I become?' She thought as she watched the blood, not caring if any demon found her and kills her right on the spot. She really didn't care anymore.

'I feel a pain, but it won't show. The pain of betrayal just left a mark on me, one that will never show, for it is in my heart.' Kagome thought as she just stared at her cut again. She cleaned up the blood and cut herself again, on her right hand. Seeing the blood flow from her cut, to the floor, reminded her of tears…Tears of blood.

If she couldn't cry, she would do so, by blood. Kagome just stared at here wrists, with a little smirk haunting her face. She had taken some pain away, but not a lot. In a way, she felt relief. In another, she didn't feel at all.

"E-everything, is a, l-lie." She whispered out. Closing her eyes, she felt her cheeks were wet. She couldn't be crying, so she opened her eyes, seeing rain falling everywhere. She just sat there, not bothering to move herself.

"Why are where without my little brother, wench?" an emotionless voice came piercing from the forest. Kagome just kept staring forward.

"I don't know Sesshomaru-sama, maybe you should ask someone who could care. I just want to sit here. Why are you here?" Kagome asked, in a voice, full of nothing, emptiness.

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. "I came here for my brother's blade, and I smelled blood around her. I decided to check it out." Sesshomaru said coldly.

Kagome turned around and faced him. She felt cold and wet from the rain, and she was pale. "Aren't you Inuyasha's wench?" he asked her after seeing her pale face.

Kagome laughed a bitter laugh. "Yeah right, I am not his wench, just a shard detector. And I personally don't think he'll see me in any other way."

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. This girl was acting pretty weirder than he remembered. For one thing, she wasn't happy.

Suddenly Kagome passed out from the coldness. Sesshomaru sighed. What was he suppose to do now? Take her with him or just leave her there. 'Don't be so cold Sesshomaru. Take her with you…' a voice said to him.

'Who are you?' Sesshomaru thought.

'I am you. Your inner self. Conscious.' The voice said.

Sesshomaru growled. 'You haven't spoken to me for a while. Go away now.'

The voice laughed, 'Do what you think is right. Don't be so uptight all the time.'

He picked Kagome up and carried her bridal style and headed back to his castle with his demonic speed. In a matter of minutes, they were at his huge castle.

Sesshomaru kicked open the door and walked in. "Lord Sesshomaru!" A toad like demon named Jaken came running toward his master and bowed down in respect. He hastily got up and Sesshomaru said in his monotone voice, "Jaken, prepare an extra room."

Jaken's eyes went huge. This was a mortal he was talking about. "Yes Lord Sesshomaru!" He cried in his weird croaky voice, as he ran off to tell a maid to do his job.

Once a nice room was prepared (right next to Sesshomaru's room) he gently placed Kagome on the bed and left the room, thinking that he will regret it when she woke up.

**Apparently 2 days later**

Kagome's eyelids fluttered open as she tried to sit up. "My head feels so heavy." She mumbled. Once her vision cleared up, she saw the room she was in.

The room had grey brick walls, a futon (large one with Kagome on top), and a crimson circle rug on the middle of the bare floor. "Ah, so you're finally awake." A calm, young female voice said to her.

Kagome slowly turned her head and came face to face with a young lady. "Who are you?" Kagome asked. The lady smiled and lightly pushed Kagome back into the bed. "Rest child. My name is Katsumi, and I am a miko, like you. I was summoned by Lord Sesshomaru to aid you when you were ill." The lady identified as Katsumi said with her calm voice.

Kagome nodded as Katsumi walked toward a table and took out a package. "I want you to put this on. In a few minutes, Lord Sesshomaru would like to see you." Katsumi said as she placed the package in Kagome's hands.

Kagome gave a feeble smile as Katsumi walked out of the room to tell Lord Sesshomaru. Kagome opened the package gently and it revealed a red kimono with white and silver sakura petals around, along with a small silver dragon on the right hip. Her obi was black with red stripes on it.

Kagome put on the kimono which hugged her every curved. She slipped on the sandals which were also in the package and she slipped out of the room to find Sesshomaru.

"So woman, your finally awake I see." A cold voice said, sending shivers down to her spine. Kagome turned around, to be faced to face with Sesshomaru. Kagome bowed politely and said, "Thank you milord, for saving me. May I please return?"

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. "No wench, you have two choices. Stay here and take care of Rin. Or I shall kill you here and now." He said in a cold voice.

"I have a name you know! It's KAGOME! Say it with me! KAG-O-ME!" She said angrily.

Sesshomaru ran over to her with his demonic speed, and held her neck. "Listen women, you are going to stay here with Rin whether you like it or not." He hissed. Kagome's face faltered as she tried to escape, with her energy, she nodded. He let go and she fell onto the cold floor, panting.

"You start tomorrow after breakfast." He said and then went right back into his room. Once Kagome had regained her breath, she too went back into her room. 'Why did he pick me up and instead of just leaving me in the forest for me too die?' She thought as she took out her CD player.

She lowered the volume a bit, so it would just be heard in the room. She pushed 'play' and a new song came on.

_I'm Standing on a bridge  
I'm waiting in the dark  
I thought that you'd be here by now  
There's nothing but the rain  
No footsteps on the ground  
I'm listening but there's no sound_

She needed someone with her. It was how it was like before she saw Sesshomaru. That's what the song is reminding her of.

_Isn't anyone trying to find me?  
Won't somebody come take me home  
It's a damn cold night  
Trying to figure out this life  
Won't you take me by the hand  
take me somewhere new  
I don't know who you are  
but I, I'm with you  
I'm with you...  
_

Kagome sang along, pouring what she felt into the song. It was like when they met and she passed out.

I'm looking for a place  
I'm searching for a face  
Is anybody here I know  
cause nothings going right  
and everything's a mess  
and no one likes to be alone

Kagome needed someone; she felt something, deep inside her, so deep, that she couldn't really feel it. She felt as if she could trust Sesshomaru more than Inuyasha.

_Isn't anyone trying' to find me?  
Won't somebody come take me home  
It's a damn cold night  
Trying to figure out this life  
Wont you take me by the hand  
take me somewhere new  
I don't know who you are  
but I, I'm with you  
I'm with you  
_

'I'm with you Sesshomaru; you found of me, before Inuyasha did.' Kagome thought as she stopped singing and paid attention to the rest of the song.

_  
Oh why is everything so confusing  
maybe I'm just out of my mind  
yea yea yea  
yea yea yea  
yea yea yea  
yeahhhh_

'Yet, I still have feelings for Inuyasha…even if he and Sango both pulled my heart out and broke it.' Kagome thought back to when they betrayed her.

_It's a damn cold night  
Trying to figure out this life  
Wont you take me by the hand  
take me somewhere new  
I don't know who you are  
but I, I'm with you_

_Take me by the hand  
take me somewhere new  
I don't know who you are  
but I, I'm with you  
I'm with you_

_Take me by the hand  
take me somewhere new  
I don't know who you are  
but I, I'm with you  
I'm with you  
I'm with you..._

Kagome stopped the CD and lay back down on her bed. 'I'm with you…Sesshomaru.' She thought subconsciously before falling asleep. Unknown to her, the great Lord Sesshomaru listened to her voice and the song. 'Her voice, so beautiful, yet it sounded so sad when she was singing.' He thought. He shook off that thought and continued his paperwork.

* * *

A/n: So what do you think? Even if I'm not a huge Avril fan, I love her songs. I think this song goes perfect. give a review and tell me what you think about this story. I'll try updating soon, but I am a busy girl. Ja ne people. 


	3. Bring me to Life

Summary: She's a troubled girl when she saw her two friends betray her in a way she could never imagine. She's cold, stoic, distant, and numb. She became a cutter to take away all the pain away. He came along and showed her to love again. But when the man she used to love came for her, what will happen now? (Song fic) (not a one-shot) Sess/Kag

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha and I don't own the song!

* * *

Chapter three:

Bring me to Life

Katsumi woke Kagome up around 8:30, to tell her breakfast was almost ready. But Kagome being herself didn't get out of bed until 8:40. Kagome dressed in a black kimono with silver sakura petals.

She followed Katsumi into the huge dining hall, where she saw Rin and Jaken sitting down. Sesshomaru had yet to enter.

Kagome took a seat next to Rin. It went like this: Rin and Kagome on the left side, Jaken on the other, and Sesshomaru by himself at the end of the table near Rin.

Rin smiled at Kagome. "Hello pretty Lady! Rin's name is Rin! What's your name?" She asked in a childish tone. Kagome smiled a bit and said, "Hello Rin, my name is Kagome." "Lord Sesshomaru said you will take care of Rin now! Is that true?" He voice, filled with happiness and hope. 'She reminds me of me when I was younger…' Kagome thought. "Yes Rin. I will be."

Rin smiled and said, "YAY!" Just then, Sesshomaru appeared into the room. "Good Morning Sesshomaru-sama!" Rin said happily. "Good morning Lord Sesshomaru." Kagome greeted quietly, through a forced smile. He nodded and said, "Good morning." (A/n: GASP! TOTAL OOC!)

After that, Rin and Kagome finished eating and they headed out to the castle's garden. Kagome watched as Rin ran around in circles and picking flowers. Kagome was lost in her thoughts, when Rin came running towards her. Rin stuck a rose in front of Kagome's face. "Huh?"

Rin smiled. "Rin thought Kagome nee-chan would like a flower!" She said happily. Kagome smiled and took it. "Thank you Rin. Here." She took an iris from the garden and placed it behind her right ear. "Here you go Rin." Kagome said her voice quiet. Rin smiled. "Thank you Kagome-chan!"

Rin ran around the garden and played with Kagome. Kagome taught Rin some hand games and such until it was lunch.

The rest of the day went by fast, soon it was after dinner and everyone headed out to their rooms. Kagome went straight into her room and did a belly flop to her bed. 'Do the others even care if I'm gone?' she thought as she hugged her pillow to her chest. Her eyes, were shut as silent tears poured through her eyes as she remembered the pain Sango and Inuyasha caused her. She picked up the razor that was innocently in her bag and cut her wound, wincing, she held the razor and cut in the same place 3 more times.

'There wasn't as much pain the times I've seen Inuyasha and the clay pot together.' She tried to think. But her mind just seemed to stop thinking when all the images of him hurting her. Letting out a small scowl, she sadly picked up her tissue and wiped all the blood away. 'I can't let Sesshomaru see this. He may get curious and find out.' She thought as she searched her yellow bag for something. She finally found two arm warmers (A/n: Why does she have one? Well, they just appeared outta the endless yellow bag) and placed them on her hands. (A/n: The kimono is short sleeved by the way.)

Kagome stood up and walked over to the other side of the room. She saw the blood red curtains, and she walked over to them. She pulled them apart, revealing a patio; the floor was cobble stone and plants filling the sides. She climbed out the window and stood at the patio, not knowing someone else was there.

(A/n: ah, now let's take a look at the others shall we?)

* * *

With Inuyasha, Shippo, Kirara, Sango and Miroku…

The gang had left, knowing Kagome had run away. 'Damn wench, just running off like that, and then having the damned rain fall, covering your scent. We'll find you Kagome. We still need to collect the shards of the jewel.' Inuyasha thought bitterly.

Miroku had refused to talk with Sango or Inuyasha unless necessary. They were in the middle of the forest, trying to look for more Shikon shards, each lost in their own thoughts.

Inuyasha and Sango in front, along with Kirara, Miroku and Shippo in the back. "I miss Kagome." Shippo stated in thought. Miroku sighed. The group was falling apart a bit more, day by day without Kagome. Not since that dreaded day. Even if it has been three or four days, it seemed like it was years since they were all happy. Miroku looked at the setting sun, a breeze flowing through, his dark brown hair, flowing through the wind, a sigh once again escaped a long sigh. He missed Kagome, the girl who was practically a sister to them all.

He missed the old days, thinking back to when they were all happy once more, he suddenly snapped back into reality, realizing it was the night of the new moon, Miroku called out in a warning voice to the two people up ahead, "Inuyasha. We must prepare camp. It is almost nightfall and tonight is the new moon."

Everyone stopped and found a place to make camp in silence.

* * *

With Kagome…

Kagome looked up with her eyes, nightfall was coming. The blanket of darkness with stars slowly covering the sky, Kagome realized that there was a new moon. Suddenly, she thought of something…no someone… 'Inuyasha is human tonight; I wonder how he's doing.'

A sudden breeze caught Kagome off guard, and then a voice said, "Enjoying the sight, miko?" Confused, Kagome turned around to see Sesshomaru standing behind her, his cold amber eyes gazing into her own chocolate eyes. "You are thinking of my little brother." He stated his voice low and calm.

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors  
leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb.  
Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
until you find it there and lead it back home._

She stared at him, her breath caught into her throat. She loved Inuyasha, but she has recently started to have feelings for Sesshomaru. He seemed to put her in place, and it opened her eyes. It was like he can read her very thought, very emotion. But she had yet to wake up and face reality. She had not known, she never woken up, that her life with Inuyasha was a lie. It wasn't true.

_wake me up  
wake me up inside,  
I can't wake up  
wake me up inside,  
save me  
call my name and save me from the dark.  
Wake me up  
bid my blood to run,  
I can't wake up  
before I come undone.  
Save me  
save me from the nothing I've become._

It seemed to them, an eternity passed. But it was only a few seconds. Somehow, they were close to each other and Kagome noticed. 'I…I think I'm falling for him….and hard.' Kagome thought.

Sesshomaru thought, 'I think I'm starting to fall in love with Kagome. It just cannot be.'

'You are…in love with her.' His inner thoughts told him

'Screw you.'

'I'm you! I, unlike my other side, have feelings.'

'Damn you…'

'You are in love with Kagome, and she's in love with you.'

They just stood in front of each other, lost in their gazes. 'Sesshomaru, I love you, and I feel like I need to be with you.' Kagome thought. The space was getting thinner between them.

_Now that I know what I'm without,  
you can't just leave me.  
Breathe into me and make me real.  
Bring me to life._

'I don't think I can live without you…' they both thought.

_wake me up  
wake me up inside,  
I can't wake up  
wake me up inside,  
save me  
call my name and save me from the dark.  
Wake me up  
bid my blood to run,  
I can't wake up  
before I come undone.  
Save me  
save me from the nothing I've become._

_Bring me to life.  
I've been living a lie.  
There's nothing inside.  
Bring me to life_

Time began to freeze, as they got closer together. Suddenly, Kagome's lips touched Sesshomaru's. They shared a kiss. Their first kiss.

When they pulled apart, everything seemed different, yet, everything looked the same.

_Frozen inside without your touch,  
without your love, darling,  
only you are the life among the dead._

"Sesshomaru…" Kagome breathed, she realized that they were hugging. A blush crept up to her cheeks. Sesshomaru didn't notice, but gave a small smirk. "Kagome…" He whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. He kissed her again, but this time she returned it.

_All this time, i can't believe I couldn't see,  
kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me.  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems.  
Got to open my eyes to everything.  
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul,  
don't let me die here.  
There must be something more,  
bring me to life._

What seemed like forever, they pulled apart, and stared deeply in each other's eyes.

_wake me up  
wake me up inside,  
I can't wake up  
wake me up inside,  
save me  
call my name and save me from the dark.  
Wake me up  
bid my blood to run,  
I can't wake up  
before I come undone.  
Save me  
save me from the nothing I've become. _

Bring me to life.  
I've been living a lie.  
There's nothing inside.

Bring me to life.

And they fell in love. Kagome felt more alive, Inuyasha and Sango's little show no longer pained her, but she didn't feel dead. Finally, Sesshomaru turned away, and walked back to his room, mumbling a small goodnight.

He lay down on his bed, pulling his silk sheets up, and he sighed. It seems the ice around his heart was melting…

Kagome walked back to her room, a minute or two after Sesshomaru did. Millions of questions popped into her mind at once, as she sat down on her bed. 'So I guess that's it…I'm over Inuyasha, but I am in love with Sesshomaru…' She thought, finally falling into a blissful sleep.

* * *

A/n: So what do you think of this chapter? I hope you liked it. So sorry it took so long to update! But I just joined a band and I've been thinking about shit and yeah…oh, crap. I gotta go, remember to R&R! 


	4. Behind these Hazel Eyes

A/n: I am so sorry for the lack of updates. My computer has and forever will be lagging. So I have been having major problems. School starts in like, three weeks or so, so I have been stressing on that, and my time has been limited online and a regular computer. So once again, sorry! Btw, my dad doesn't know when I'm on so I can't update on Thursdays or any day he's off so I am completely sorry. Also, my internet hasn't been working a lot.

Disclaimer: hey, wanna know a secret? I own Inuyasha….

Lawyer: no you don't.

Disclaimer: hey, you ARE right! I don't own Inuyasha….I own Sesshomaru x3

Lawyer: No you don't

Disclaimer: yes I do: holds up imaginary Sesshomaru plushie:

Lawyer: No you—

Disclaimer: FINE! I DON'T OWN _ANY_ CHARACTER ON THE SHOW _INUYASHA!_ Are you bastards happy?

Lawyer: yes

A/n: also, I got some good questions! I just edited them out, the same, but different.

Q: will Miroku find someone else, since Sango and Inuyasha are together?

A: well, I was planning on having an OC character so yeah….but I'm not yet sure

Q: How could Inuyasha and Sango do that! Or how did they fall in love?

A: Well, it was another organized thought. I'm tired of people making Kikyo looking kinda like a bitch, cause she _is_ one of my favorite characters, and also, the whole 'Inuyasha cheating on Kagome with Kikyo' shit is just too tiring. It gets old FAST. So, why not trying something new, and outta the blue! .;

* * *

Chapter 4:

Behind these Hazel eyes

It has been a week since Sesshomaru and Kagome kissed, each avoiding each other's gaze and eyes. 'Too bad it can't be like this forever. We have to confront one another soon.' Kagome thought bitterly. She was currently in her room, listening to her Evanescence CD she had gotten from her always depressed cousin from America (A/n: Whom I made up just now).

Every song basically reminded her of sadness, love, and death. Closing her eyes, she saw Sesshomaru's face haunting her. 'Can I really fall in love with a guy who's like, our enemy?' She thought to herself.

'What about Mama, Souta, Grandpa? What about Shippo or Miroku? Inuyasha needs his Shard detector, and Sango needs a girlfriend to talk too.' Kagome thought as she felt tears brimming at the corner of her eyes.

_Seems like just yesterday  
You were a part of me  
I used to stand so tall  
I used to be so strong  
Your arms around me tight  
Everything, it felt so right  
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong  
Now I can't breathe  
No, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hanging on_

'Inuyasha made me go through all of that pain that night. Everything about him made me feel so…hopeful, strong, and…happy in love.' Kagome thought, making a fist, her bangs covering her eyes, salty tears forming.

_Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes_

'All those times with Kikyo, after all those times with the undead miko, you said I made you happy! You let me stay by your side Inuyasha, I fell in love with you, and I still forgave you all those times you hurt me! I thought you were the one Inuyasha!' Kagome started to pound the bed, she threw off the arm warmers and let all those cuts show.

The scars of when she cut herself, but there wasn't as many as the ones upon her heart. Even though she didn't know that Sesshomaru was slowly healing her heart.

_I told you everything  
Opened up and let you in  
You made me feel alright  
For once in my life  
Now all that's left of me  
Is what I pretend to be  
So together, but so broken up inside  
'Cause I can't breathe  
No, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hangin' on_

"I told you everything Inuyasha, how I felt about you, and I found it so right to be by your side, and you hurt me? You dare doing that to someone who loves you!"

_Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes_

"I despise you Inuyasha, hurting me for the billionth time! That selfish idiot! If I see him again, I'll give him the biggest sit in his life!" Kagome said still pounding on her bed, "And Sango, why? I trusted you, you were like my sister! And I loved him, and you knew that, I am so like, over you two!"

She stopped pounding on the bed, and listened to her own panting.

_Swallow me then spit me out  
For hating you, I blame myself  
Seeing you it kills me now  
No, I don't cry on the outside  
Anymore..._

"I can't stand to see his sorry face anymore! I'm tired of crying, tired of being used as a shard detector, tired of being betrayed and…tired of being used." Kagome said softly to herself. She sat down on her bed, still hating herself for allowing Inuyasha betraying her. She also hated herself for being so weak back then, so defenseless.

_Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes_

'I admit I was weak before, but this has made me stronger, I won't cry over the likes of him. Never again, will I cry for the likes of him.' Kagome swore in her mind.

_Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes_

"Inuyasha, you won't be able to see me cry over you anymore, I'm stronger and I won't make the mistake of thinking you ever love me." She said silently. She jumped off her bed and put on her school uniform.

Soon after, she planned on going outside, but before she could, the door flew open, revealing Sesshomaru.

"Kagome, we're leaving tomorrow morning, I have some business to attend too." He said, still avoiding her eyes. She nodded, blushing. "Hai, Sesshomaru-sama." But before he left, he heard her say to him.

"I-I'm sorry I kissed you." Her voice quiet, and shy. He smirked and his eyes had a bit of warmth. "Don't worry." He said, and walked over to her, and gave her a passionate kiss.

* * *

A/n: Mou, so crappy! I suck at fluff and keeping Sesshy-kun in character. R&R! 


	5. HIATUS

A/n: I'm sorry to say but I am discontinuing this story because I have lost all hope in this story and my life. I also feel like I don't have that writing feeling in my mind anymore. Maybe when I get back into that mood I might make a new story. But I may also finish this one. I am currently not sure yet but I hope so. I'm gonna put this under 'hiatus' and it will be like that until further notice. I am terribly sorry about this and I hope you can forgive me.

Most likely I will give up on this story BUT, I will most likely write a ton of one shots you may like. It may have to do with Sesshouamru and Kagome, Kikyou and Inuyasha, Kagome and Inuyasha, Miroku and Sango, Inuyasha and Sango, Kagome and Miroku. I have a lot of ideas. Most I believe will be Inuyasha and Kikyou. I've written many poems about them. I will have some under Rurouni Kenshin. Most will be Tomoe and Kenshin. Some Kaoru and Kenshin. Only under those two couples so far.

Once again I apologize about me putting this under Hiatus. Unknown Demoness


	6. chapter 5

A/n: okay, so the next chapter got deleted and I didn't notice it until now.

This is under Inuyasha, Miroku, Shippo ((he doesn't really say anything; he isn't important in this story)), and Sango. Kikyo…she'll come in the next chapter. I want her to be with Miroku but I'm not so sure myself. D

**Disclaimer: I do not own this song by Lacuna Coil and I do not own Inuyasha.**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 5:

**To live is to die**

_While emotions try to come out  
Desperately I seek in their path  
A way so I cannot be outdone  
And to finish this search for the meaning_

Inuyasha and his group were storming over to the western lands to try to get Kagome. He had a hard time controlling his anger, frustration, guilt and worry; all inside him, ready to burst out.

'I need to know what this means…I know I love Sango, Kagome…she's just too much innocent for me. I don't hate her or love her….she's nothing but a sister to me…more like a shard detector but still….I love Sango…' Inuyasha thought.

He tried to follow his emotions and thought he was over Kikyo when he wasn't. When Sango said that Kagome loved him; he didn't feel sure about himself. He didn't think they were meant to be…just like Kikyo and himself. He knew she was his true love 50 years ago, but when Sango came along, he learned to care for her.

_To hide emotions cause a blow out  
Desperately I seek their blast  
A way so I cannot be outdone  
And to finish this search for the meaning_

'I can't show anyone how I feel… I may cause something unwanted to happen; to unleash my demon side…' Inuyasha put his right hand on his heart. 'Sango… I love you. I can't find the meaning towards my emotions.' True, they became mates while after they made love the day Kagome ran away.

'I want to find the meaning of all this. It's out of my reach though…'

"Inuyasha…Can you pick up any scent of Lady Kagome or Sesshomaru?" Miroku asked, running up to him. Sango came up right next to them, in her slayers outfit on Kirara. Miroku was happy for them now; he learned to let Sango go, since she was deeply in love with Inuyasha. Miroku knows he can find his love soon and defeat Naraku.

"No…but I do know some place close to the Western Lands…" Inuyasha growled.

_I'm going to freeze  
Is it my imagination?  
It's underground_

Inuyasha growled lower. He was so confused. He felt like he was running towards his death. He just had that feeling.

_But I can feel it the same_

"Inuyasha….it doesn't feel safe around here…" Sango said. Kirara growled in agreement.

_

* * *

_

_What I need now  
What I need is to live to hide  
When you smothered my devotion  
With your lies_

Kagome felt as if she was near Inuyasha, but so far away. He crushed her pathetic dreams and her devotion to him. She hides from the truth, saying that she doesn't have any feeling left for Inuyasha. She knows she is lying, but she doesn't pay attention to it; she is wrapped up in kissing her newest hero.

Kagome pulled apart from Sesshomaru and smiled. "Sesshomaru-sama…"

"We have a small battle coming towards us…let's move to them…Rin will stay here…" Sesshomaru said, holding Kagome with a small very tiny microscopic smile. "Go pack…I'll be waiting for you….bring very little."

"Hai…Sesshomaru-sama…" Kagome breathed and went to go pack. Sesshomaru looked at her as she packed before went to the door, but then he saw a few scars on each of her wrists; blood lines.

"Kagome…? What the hell did you do to your arms?" He demanded.

"A-ano…?" She looked down and blushed. "I…cut myself…" she whispered so quietly that a human couldn't hear; Sesshomaru heard perfectly.

"Don't do it again…" _I may not save you all the time…_he added mentally in his head as he walked off.

As Kagome packed, she heard a voice coming from the window.

"So…you finally gave up on Inuyasha when he chose Sango; then come over to his brother's side for the fight to win the sword."

"Kikyo!" Kagome snarled as she whipped around, to see the undead miko sitting on the window.

"What do you want you….dead….witch?" Kagome glared. She never obviously liked her incarnation; she wanted her dead since she stole her first love so many times.

"Hah…very mature Kagome…but I have come to tell you something. Inuyasha wants you back. He wants to continue to hunt the shards and kill Naraku…" Kikyo said dully as the wind blew by.

Tears wanted to come out into Kagome's eyes. As if Inuyasha and Kikyo were kissing.

Kikyo obviously saw this clearly. _So…she think I am going to steal Sesshomaru from her…she is a little brat sometimes._

_And I feel now  
As I did that time  
That I'm wondering why  
Still I make you cry_

"Tell me Kagome….does it hurt you to know that Inuyasha doesn't want you and you find Sesshomaru more…attractive?" Kikyo said, raising her eyebrows.

Kagome blushed. Kikyo had hit the jackpot. "Shut up clay pot!" She shot back at Kikyo. She didn't seem to care.

"You seem to love him with your heart…but Inuyasha is on his way. He chose another girl; I am not his true love Kagome. Even I see it."

_While emotions try to come out  
Desperately I seek their path  
A way so I cannot be outdone  
And to finish this search for the meaning_

Kikyo just watched as Kagome went through a lot of emotions. Kikyo clenched her fist, as she tried to control the fact that Inuyasha loved someone new; someone else.

_Wha..? I don't understand any of this! Is this how Inuyasha feels when we keep telling him to leave Kikyo and stay with me…?_ Kagome thought as she clutched the sleeve of her kimono…

_While emotions try to come out  
Desperately I seek their path  
A way so I cannot be outdone  
And to finish this search for the meaning_

"Do you care to find everything out Kagome? You know your love is forbidden." Kikyo said, dissolving into the blue sky. Kagome glared out the window. She wanted Kikyo gone; Kikyo was to burn in hell again was what Kagome thought. She knew it wasn't right. She convinced herself it was right. _You know…she is right. She is you after all…you hate yourself Kagome…don't deny it._ A small voice said to Kagome.

_Suffering while I'm depending on seasons  
Roots under me are embracing the earth_

'_My mind always changes…like the seasons…winter is on its way, and I can get colder then a ice storm…might as well deceive…Inuyasha, I hope you meet your death.'_ Kagome threw the last of her things into her yellow backpack as she thought of that thought. She was changing, she was aware, but her good self was trying to make her see the light.

**A/n: okay, that's the end of this chapter. We near the end of this story, I dunno where it's going to end up as, but I have the pairings set down though:**

**Sesshomaru/Kagome ((DUH))**

**Inuyasha/Sango**

**Miroku/Kikyo - I dunno much about this couple. It's either Kikyo gets her own soul or they both die…with some love in the middle **


End file.
